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 Christmas Cheer ; December will be magic

Post #1 - 05 Dec 2018, 08:03

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... itain.html

I love these dreadful Christmas parks which seem to crop up every year. How's your Christmas going?
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StuckupPercy
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Post #2 - 07 Dec 2018, 07:34

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:)
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Dr Ron Jock
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Post #3 - 09 Dec 2018, 08:15

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https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/whats-on/ ... g-15498339

Guisborough's Christmas light switch on - everything you need to know. Performing the honours for the big light switch on round the market town's Christmas tree will be singing street sweeper Steve Simpson.

Is that striking bus driver routemaster moonlighting in the reindeer suit? :wtf:
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Jim Skidder
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Post #4 - 09 Dec 2018, 12:23

Jim Skidder » Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:15 am wrote:Image

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/whats-on/ ... g-15498339

Guisborough's Christmas light switch on - everything you need to know. Performing the honours for the big light switch on round the market town's Christmas tree will be singing street sweeper Steve Simpson.

Is that striking bus driver routemaster moonlighting in the reindeer suit? :wtf:

That's not me you cunt, but I dread to think what happened next. :D
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Post #5 - 11 Dec 2018, 22:32

I've been writing my Xmas cards tonight. :)

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Right Said Fred
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Post #6 - 12 Dec 2018, 18:15

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jihadkelly
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جاك جريليس الملاعين والدته

Post #7 - 13 Dec 2018, 07:20

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https://www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/news ... ng-2300325

Grimsby's dying Christmas tree branded 'appalling' with bare branches, bald patches and litter around base.

Good enough for Grimsby I'd have thought. :mellow:
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Greasy Roads
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Post #8 - 14 Dec 2018, 08:05

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https://news.sky.com/story/santa-on-the ... n-11579842

Santa on the naughty list after 'swearing at children'. Santa goes from festive favourite to foul-mouthed yob as he apparently tries to evacuate a building after smoke alarms go off.

Another parent said: "My friend's little boy was upset as his dad was carrying him when Santa told them to 'get the f*** out'. :lol:
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StuckupPercy
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Post #9 - 20 Dec 2018, 13:02

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I love decorating the Christmas tree. :)
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Dr Ron Jock
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Post #10 - 20 Dec 2018, 22:26

phpBB [video]


:)
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Post #11 - 20 Dec 2018, 22:34

Chavahoy » Thu Dec 20, 2018 10:26 pm wrote:
phpBB [video]


:)


Hmm, he only did ten days of Christmas, thus the remit of performing twelve days of Christmas was not executed satisfactorily.

Warning to Chavahoy for excessive yet inconclusive profanity.

Dan
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Post #12 - 21 Dec 2018, 10:53

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Ted Gardener
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Post #13 - 21 Dec 2018, 17:54

'Twas the night before Christmas,
At routemaster's house,
And nothing was stirring,
Not even that louse.
He'd sent his wife working,
She'd be back in a bit,
She bitterly regretted,
Getting hitched to that shit.
He was out driving,
In his Renault Megane,
How he wished it was German,
And he was more of a man.
He was cruising round Guisborough,
A North-Eastern ghetto,
Doing last minute shopping,
At his favourite Netto.
He fancied a parmo,
So he went down the chippy,
It wasn't so good,
In fact it was shitty.
The taste was so awful,
That he went for a drink,
He drank so many lagers,
That the twat couldn't think.
He got home at midnight,
And lurched in through the front,
His poor wife was waiting,
She battered the cunt.
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Post #14 - 21 Dec 2018, 18:07

We haven't got a Netto. :shrug:
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Post #15 - 21 Dec 2018, 18:09

Lidl didn't rhyme. :(
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Greasy Roads
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Post #16 - 22 Dec 2018, 00:02

'Twas the night before Christmas,
In Greasy Roads' house,
And all that was stirring,
Was George and a mouse.
But Greasy didn't like it,
He thought it bad luck,
So the cat got a bollocking,
The poor little fuck.
Next morning quite early,
He woke with a shock,
It's Villa away!
And he drove like a cock.
To Swansea in Wales,
Where Villa were due,
To play in a match,
He must be there by two.
The Beemer went burning,
Along the M5,
Then right at Severn Bridge,
That's now free to drive.
The city was empty,
No more fans in sight,
The senile old bastard,
Had got the wrong night.
Bemused and embarrassed,
He said quite upfront,
"You Taffs are all wankers,
But I'm just a cunt".
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routemaster
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Post #17 - 22 Dec 2018, 07:21

It's not exactly fucking Shelley, is it? You'll have all year to think up something better than that. :(
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Greasy Roads
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Post #18 - 22 Dec 2018, 13:06

:angry:


Some time ago in Birmingham,
So the Villa fans all say,
Alan Hutton scored a goal,
It made their fucking day.

Hark now hear the cunts all sing,
"A King is born" they clap,
But he won't score another one,
Because he's fucking crap.
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routemaster
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Post #19 - 22 Dec 2018, 14:29

Hutton's not one to bear a grudge,
He doesn't let things fester,
But if there's one team he can't abide,
It's those fucking cunts from Leicester.
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Greasy Roads
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Post #20 - 23 Dec 2018, 07:20

phpBB [video]


:)
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StuckupPercy
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